Monday, March 21, 2016

High Maintenance?

I keep seeing this silly maintenance chart pop up on Facebook. It cracks me up. Some people have posted high numbers. Others have posted zero. I guess mine would be around 25-30—so compared to zero—that is pretty high. Of course, there are some things listed here that I might actually skip for a day, but I'm speaking on a regular basis. I think a shower everyday isn't too much, but a 30 minute shower is excessive. I certainly don't spend a lot of time on my hair, aside from keeping it colored. The last time I was at a salon was in the late 1980s. Also, I'm 51 years old and I've never had a professional manicure, not once. I did my own nails for my wedding. A pedicure is simply out of the question. I've had foot problems and foot surgeries. No one touches my feet unless absolutely necessary. I've been in a tanning booth once right before my wedding. It felt like I was lying in a microwave. I hated it, and it's not something I will do again. And massages? Oh hell no ... not my thing ... not unless it's done by Rick. I had a lady grab me on my honeymoon. She was a brute ... I mean, a massage therapist, and she had a tent set up by the pool. She grabbed my shoulders and started yanking. I was in agony. Freak.

I guess I have always considered someone to be high maintenance when they have all their basic grooming needs done professionally. Since I do it myself, I never thought of myself that way. The definition of high maintenance is "needing a lot of work to keep in good condition". That's what is so funny. Painting your fingernails—whether you do it yourself or have them professionally done—isn't really keeping yourself in good condition. None of those listed are, aside from taking a shower. Cleanliness is keeping yourself in good condition ... so is eating right, exercising, and getting regular medical and dental check-ups. A man once told me that all women are high maintenance. Are they really? For me, keeping my hair colored IS high maintenance, simply because it's a lot of work. If I didn't have to do it, I'd be happy as a clam, but I don't like gray hair. I wear make-up and paint my nails because I like it. I only counted the "more than one outfit a day" for pajamas. PJs count, right? Of course, the chart is just for fun. It's kind of stupid too, but that's what Facebook is for. It sure beats political rants.

"High heels everyday" ... seriously? Heck, I'm lucky if I put on socks, more or less shoes. I guess what it comes down to is that I'm not a very touchy-feely type person. Between all my doctor and dental visits, I think that's enough manhandling by complete strangers. {snort}

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