My apologies ...

I am sorry to not have been around much and for not visiting your blogs recently. I hope to get back into some sort of schedule soon. We had to put Belle down on Friday and then all this week is Easter Vacation for us, so I'm even more out of my routine than normal. Rick keeps saying I need to get back on track, but it's been hard for me. I've spent most of the week lying around in my pajamas, feeling sorry for myself.

I'm usually pretty good at faking things and putting on a happy face when I need to. I noticed how hard that was yesterday when I went out. I had a doctor's appointment and when she came in and asked how I was doing, I responded as best as I could. She sat down and looked at me for a few silent moments before saying, "Are you sure?" Then when I was at the pharmacy picking up some antibiotics, several ladies were commenting about another lady walking by with her dog. They were laughing because the lady's hair matched the dog. One of them goes, "Well, you know, they say we start to look like our pets eventually." That comment made me stop and think for a minute. Then the lady at the register was as sweet as she could be to me, telling me to have a nice day and hoping I had a nice Easter, etc. I responded to everything she said, but I think I disappointed her with my lack of smile. I don't know. I'm just not feeling that yet.

It sucks not having Belle here. It really does. I think I hear her every now and then. During the last few weeks, she had been sleeping behind a chair in my bedroom. There was a pillow back there in the corner and that's where she was most comfortable. Sometimes I hear noises in the office directly below me and it sounds like it's coming from that chair. She has always been in this house with us. In fact, she's been in 5 different houses with us. It's just surreal that she's not here. Coming home sucks. She was always there to greet me. I haven't slept well because I'm so used to her sleeping on me. I haven't been eating well either. Like I said, I've mostly been lying around feeling sorry for myself. Now that I can do well.

Anyway, I apologize for being a slug and not visiting your blogs and such. I've been on Facebook a little lately and it was nice to see everyone's comments there. Today, however, sucks because it's April Fools Day. I hate this day. The Yellowstone site on FB left a comment about some bears being shot in the park over a pick-a-nick basket. It was a joke, obviously, but not a funny one. I don't know and maybe it's just better I stay offline today since I'm not finding any humor in things, more or less a reason to smile. And to top things off, a truck drove by me yesterday and kicked up a rock into my windshield, leaving a pretty good crack. Not sure if it can be fixed or if the whole thing needs to be replaced. And if that's not enough, the antibiotics I'm on make me feel sick as a dog unless I eat, which has been hard for me. In addition, my recent surgery might not have corrected the problem, so now I have to be rechecked in 3 weeks and possibly put on another medication. Hell, might as well change my name to Schleprock. Anyway, thanks for stopping by and please bear with me as I continue to wallow in self-pity ...