Sunday, April 11, 2010

See, speak, hear ...

There's a lot of talk in the online world about bullies in schools, especially with the recent case of Phoebe Prince taking her life after being picked on by classmates. There are quite a few pages popping up on Facebook too. Some of them seem pretty determined to help find a solution. I have joined a few of them. The most recent one, however, seems only determined to get people to join and hasn't posted much of anything on the actual subject. That got annoying pretty quick, so I took my name off.

I was just edited from a comment on Facebook and my reply was removed. I didn't intend to sound mean, and I'm sorry if it came off that way. The person posted a letter that someone had written, apologizing for her bullying behavior towards a certain girl at school. I thought it was a great letter, to be honest. However, my reply said something to the effect of not being able to understand what the writer was feeling, but that I could certainly relate to her victim. She deleted my comment. I guess victim was too harsh of a word.

But that's what it is, isn't it? How many people do you know that were bullied in school? If you were, do you remember it, or have you simply let it slip your mind? I remember. I think back on my school days with very few fond memories, if any. All those bad memories come rushing in, especially the ones about being picked on by other students, and in my case, teachers too. It's hard to forget. For many of us, it stays with us our entire life. So, maybe the word victim was too harsh for her, but that's how I feel. I didn't mean anything bad about the writer or the person who posted her letter.

I hope she feels better getting it off her chest after so many years have past. I suppose that would be hard to live with, especially if she has children of her own. But the fact of the matter is, it never should happen in the first place. No one person is better than another. No one should be bullied or picked on. Confessing it many years later might make you feel better, but I am pretty sure it doesn't help the victim. They might forgive and forget, which is what they should do, but it doesn't take the pain away. I know I sound bitter; I am. This person wanted to clear her conscience, which is a good thing. I respect that. But, for those of us who were picked on, we can forgive, but it's not so easy to help pat yourself on your back.


  1. And I might add, I was no saint in school. I did a few things that I regret. I certainly don't expect anyone to help make me feel better about that though. That's up to me and I just hope they found it in their heart to forgive me.

  2. The person's letter would only "help" (maybe) if the victim received it and accepted the apology.

    I was teased, but I don't think it was real bullying. Those who teased me have long since apologized and explained certain things that were going on in their lives at the time which certainly helped me be understanding and compassionate.

    I did have a teacher though who I believe was a bully. Not only did my parents know there was a problem, but so did my principal who eventually let me drop out of his class.

  3. *woohoo*

    Rena, your book arrived. It is beautiful. :o) Wow I didn't know a group of cats was called a 'clowder' haha Thank you XX

  4. Rena, I'm sorry to hear that you were a victim of bullying. Bullying does awful things to self esteem. And it seems like it's getting more and more common. I hope more ways to combat bullying are developed.

  5. The shame of it is that most bullies/predators back down when confronted. What we need to do is a better job teaching kids to stick up for themselves and one another!

  6. I had 3 teachers who were bullies during my first 6 years of school. Not a very good percentage. I was not a target; I was teacher's pet. (I never sucked up; I was only there to do the work and go home, but I got top marks.) But I hated what these teachers did to the kids they had it in for. Once I gained the maturity to think beyond "at least it's not me," I think I at least developed compassion because of it. But when you have a teacher who screams at one kid that if he doesn't shape up she'll let another one beat him up and "won't even wipe up the blood," I have trouble believing things are really worse today.

  7. Oh, that's awful, Marcia. I also had teachers who seemed to have it in for certain students. That's just so wrong. I had a few that knew my siblings and automatically thought I was just like them, so they treated me with a grudge before they even knew me.